Version_1.1

I had been into “Operations” role for more than half a decade and the maximum times we need to do is data analysis. An extensive search for creating the base data and concluding with some important findings which will be beneficial for the organization. So every time I submit my final files to management, they come up with some changes and trust me it hurts my ego because I had been working upon the data so meticulously considering every demand of theirs and once the cake is ready, they will ask to add some raisins to it.

We brainstorm another session and sometimes fight upon how it is totally irrelevant and agreeing to some sanity level.  I shall sit and do the whole exercise again with a different perspective and send them the revised file. I name it version_1.1 and with every changes the version number increases. There had been times when the number was version_1.50.

Then the final day will come when the numbers, graphs and pie charts are represented and everyone is gone with storm upon how well the data was analyzed and represented. I virtually danced the Micheal Jackson’s “aao” step every time I see a smile and a nod from the audience.

That’s how we build upon our character too. We analyze and represent our best but we do keep getting feedback upon how we are. We can collect the information from our whole big universe and sit again to agree or to disagree. Sometimes we are not even given choice, you have to live with it.

So, next time when you are in a situation consider it as a demand from the universe as it wants you to go through it to bring out the better version of yourself. You may have to go through yourself all over again with a different perspective but if you choose to there will be new directions opened upon for better opportunities.

The crux is in your limited time on the planet earth you can only compare yourself with the previous version of yours and see your own graph. Keep growing!

Traffic Jam!

This can happen anytime but most often when you are in hurry. There can reasons or no reason at all upon why there was so much of jam around. With the regret of the decision to choose this path to the worry of reaching the destination in the desired time; the emotions are travelling length to breadth of your body. Sometimes it so happens that the signal is green but no one can move an inch. There are so many people around, everyone in the same situation but still disconnected. You are almost choking to death with the pollution coming out of the vehicles which are kept on, but still keeping a hope that either the wait gets over or the people switch off their vehicles.

Our mind goes into a similar situation very often. There are so many thoughts entangled with each other that even if we have a brilliant opportunity we are unable to move. The thoughts of regret of choices that are made before to the thoughts of worry what we will land into - these emotions are actually travelling length to breadth of your mind and you result in being freezed. What should I say? What should I do? Most of the time – NOTHING. You just keep a lame hope that everything will be all right one day.

I feel the only solution to this is choose one thought and give closure to it. Bring that thought to a conclusion and make a choice either to hold on or let go. Don’t leave it with ambiguity, anxiety and questions. At times. it is OK to choose to let go of such things, people, experiences who had been integral part of your life as their role is over. If it hurts, it hurts so I need to get healed by letting it go. Sometimes it is OK to choose the toughest path if you feel it’s right for you. This is what makes you feel being you so be it, choose.

All that needs to be done is make a decision. One by one, let every thought of yours get healed and slowly you shall move on. The traffic will get cleared.

Setting Sun!!

There is always something special about the setting sun. Looking at it I feel peace, calm and content..may be it’s the amalgamation of the sky and sun’s colors or may be we see something at the horizon and feel it does exist. There seems to be an end, a boundary where everything happened till now  will immerse and be lost there, never to rise again.

The End!!! There is nothing negative about it. The thoughts, the deeds, the reactions, the people who don’t match your wavelength and vice versa are about to get into the darkness of night and be there forever only if you allow to. Ahh! That “if” can bring your world upside down. Everything comes with the clause.

So after spending my lazy lazy Saturday, when I opened the windows and saw that the light is about to sleep and darkness is yet to rise, I had a wonderful feeling. Let today be the last day for all those thoughts towards people, work and myself which had been pulling me down for only one reason of me allowing to do it.

With this setting sun, am waiting for the dark to lose my stupid thoughts and find my better self again.

I call it a day! Period.

Deadline!

Now that 2017 has begun, there are new targets been set and new deadlines been given. This truly is a rat race. A network marketing professional will give a whole lecture upon this…is’nt it?

But honestly, if this is a race then for what? Achieving deadlines? I keep wondering how did this term “Deadline” arrive. Is it like reaching the finishing line before you are dead? May be…

Then who decides how long the line is, who are our competitors and how is it possible that everyone has the same deadline and same path.

Well..in my case its the society that my parents have created in their mind. OMG…you are still not married. What is your deadline? And every year the answer goes as “Next year!!”

So if I ponder more and remove the race, then there are no winners and hence no losers too.

The race is within, not to achieve my external materialistic targets but to reach my deepest part where I have reached a “NO TARGET ZONE”. No No..am not saying to be lazy in fact gear up to push yourself beyond your own perception about self.

To really understand whats within me I have to go beyond me

This time, this year is not just the new date but it’s about a decision to CHANGE and ADAPT every single day.

BATTLEFIELD

There had been great warriors who have either won or lost the battle in some ages. Remember the scenes of Mahabharat where the armies would dash into each other. There would be arrows hitting each other & sparks coming across. There would be blood shed, bruises, injuries which left the soldiers dead, crippled or sometimes alive.

Days haven’t changed much. There is a battle like Mahabharat running within everyone. Its the battle between MIND & HEART…rather conscious & sub conscious self. Something what Shakesphere said “to be or not to be”. 

The conflict of opinion between these two seems like making a choice between right & wrong. But in reality there is nothing that can be defined as “Wrong”. Everything is right in its own way, but the process of understanding your way leads us to this battle. 

Most of the times, I keep wondering how to win this battle, how to make a decision. Cause whatever I may decide today might just change tomorrow, so what is the point? When is that I reach to this stage where I keep my foot down & say “Yes! This is it” or for that matter even if I feel so..will the nature reciprocate that way? Will everything work out the way I feel is right?

Honestly speaking the moment you have these questions bothering, you actually are feeding a fox named “doubt”. It just gives you enough arms & ammunition to start the BATTLE. You finally feel injured, bruised & drained out. Isn’t there any way to come out of it alive?

Have you seen a child? They do not get into the rut of “how to make a decision”. All that they do is “decide” & move on. And what makes them choose? Nothing…they just follow their instinct. Their sub conscious take over the conscious cause it’s not developed yet which keeps them away from false fantacies. A child is a father of man….Well said William Wordsworth

So after penning this down I feel there is no rocket science mechanics that anyone has to learn while making decisions. Imagine yourself in a dark cave & you can see a light at a distance. The choice is whether you wanna move out or stay in? If you have chosen to move out then just follow the light. 

Logic!!!

Just look around and see everyone is so busy in calculating. Even we say “take calculated risks”...either it’s you take a risk or you don’t, not sure how do people apply mathematics in calculating risks in real life. We have become so analytical because we are so tuned to these gadgets which give us the result using logical formulas, but in return we have actually forgotten that it is created by us not the other way round. We find everything so worthless if we are not able to associate logic with it.

We are losing something very integral while we are busy finding that logic…the innocence. Now a day’s innocence is widely known as “dumbness”. But it has its own flavor, its own value and its own world. I remember my childhood days where imagination was at peak and I could relate to almost everything around… almost like I could interact with nature.

If we notice we still feel those unreasonable innocent moments in small packets. How is it that you could feel happy when a toothless, bald baby smiles at you… how is it that you feel so protected when your beloved keeps his hand on your should in a crowed place… how is it that a woman feels so content when she is giving her all to the family… how is that a man feels being loved when his girl says “I was waiting for you” , how is it that you just get saved by an accident cause something within you said “move”.

What’s the logic??

Just in some cases lack of logic...is what I call “Magic”. Logic has its own place in nature. If we consider it to be a color, let’s not fill our canvas with one. Allow other magical colors to emerge & it surely will leave you smiling as you look back.

Sometimes we as adults also need to allow that invisible child within us to have that illogical yet magical experience. There is always a scope to feel “Magic” in this “Logical” world. Try it :)

Umbilical Cord!!

It’s a biological connection between a mother & her unborn child. This cord plays the most important role in the growth of the fetus. In the duration of nine months, when the child is struggling to make space within, the umbilical cord provides all the necessary nutrients preparing him to face the world which has more than enough space but lacks the warmth of a womb.

When a child is mature enough he pushes himself out and then the importance of that umbilical cord reaches an end. This needs to be cut as there is no need. Irrespective of how the child shapes up within or his survival status at that moment… he has to get detached so that he can grow or die on his own.

That’s how relationships are. A thought gets conceived & there starts the journey of a relationship. It keeps growing within beyond your control & you nurture it with your best feelings and thoughts so that it shapes up to face the world. You feed it through your own imaginary umbilical cord where a unique emotional connection is established. Even in pain you will chose to smile expecting that you will accept whatever is destined. When a relationship matures and reaches the last step, it pushes itself to come out and then you get to see the real virtue of your efforts.

You might give birth to a relation that might be either alive or dead or retarded…however it may turn out to be, you now have to cut that umbilical cord and allow it to grow or die on its own.

That’s what is known as detachment…I guess so....

Back Then!!

It was easy then…when I was ten

Showing artificial tears, but having real friends

Wearing dad’s t-shirt was another trend

Ganging up to take care of cute little pups

Having water in those sophisticated tea cups

Hide and seek…when I could hardly hide

Fighting over with best friend “why you took his side”

Running around in spite of being tired

Laughing over upon how someone cried

Holding hands and singing together

Making fun but still standing for each other

Letting go was just another game

Being united was considered as fame

We assumed, we can get back to these days

And now it feels, it was just a phase

It was easy then, when I was ten…

Answered Prayers!!

Whenever we go to any holy place we are having an agenda to bring the some unresolved matter of our complicated lives to be discussed across the table with the Almighty.

We pray for ourselves, for our family, for the entire world. We keep on doing that thinking that we are doing something great and once we are out of the holy place all that we say “He never listens. All my prayers go unanswered”

Somehow I felt that He whispered “I do answer some of your prayers, I do give a go ahead, I do say “Amen” but are you listening to me?

We are so busy cribbing, dwelling in the world of scarcity and we are enjoying the process of asking so much that eventually we have forgotten to receive. It’s like being in a Trans mode and are constantly begging to take you through your journey… your way. But He is very smart; he has a different plan …for better or for worse. This master plan is bound to execute irrespective of our will. Wiser is the one will accept it as it is when declared. If not, He will ensure that you go through it again and accept it eventually. There are many times that we reject our answered prayers because we think we deserve better or it is not in line with our defined plan and we choose to believe that we are best managers to manage our lives.

The point is who is rejecting? The point is who is being blamed? The point is that there is a point in his actions but are you making an effort to realize it?

Check…check…check

Anything happens… is for a reason and anything that doesn’t happen is for a reason (sometimes I wish I could know it). Everything that belongs to you stays back how much so ever you want it to go and which doesn’t belong to you will go away how much so ever you want it to stay back

Let it happen, let it go, let it be. Take notice that you are always been gifted with opportunities every day, allow yourself to be a part of it as this can be one of your forgotten prayer being answered…you never know.

I am hoping that would take effective measures to resolve this complicated ME.  Let’s see……until I meet myself in that next junction..............

My H.O.M.E

O nadan parinde ghar ajja…I hear this song from Rockstar and it makes me ponder over what it means to be “At Home”

We had been like nomads wandering across lot of states within India, changing houses, changing friends, changing schools and I realize how much did I lost in terms of having a deep rooted relationship with some school friends. Growing up together would have been so much fun, but nevertheless it also helped me develop a quality of being adjusted to every new surroundings and exploring the new opportunities coming my way.

But as of now, I am going through a very different feeling. It’s the feeling of achievement, satisfaction and completion. I have my own flat and that’s why I had been running around helter scelter to make my new flat look as Home. Not that it’s in a very posh area, neither it’s too great, but what makes it special is that it belongs to me.

It’s a sense of achievement as when I am entering that place for which a heavy chunk is deducted every month from my hard earned money. There was a great sense of satisfaction when I was mopping the floor, as if I was actually taking a complete feel of my triumph. This actually goes as a beautiful gift to my creators who have developed me to reach so far. They mean everything to me and what a child can feel when he becomes capable of giving a shelter to his parents. It’s just a feeling of completion.

But honestly speaking I already know that even though this place belongs to me but I belong to somewhere else. My actual home is still waiting for me to explore and give my best of whatever I have and learn to develop more skills to make it the most beautiful home ever…My home!

It’s time for the next cycle to start, a new beginning, a new life to be discovered. I believe I am ready.

Anticipating that this year will offer me an opportunity to be in my REAL home. :)

Welcome 2012, Welcome HOME!

O nadan parinde ghar ajja….

Tomorrow!!

This word brings more of anticipation, hope, confusion and anxiety. Sometimes there is some kind of turmoil which occupies my mind and just doesn’t leave me until am completely drained off.

In general, everyone says.. live for today, what if there is no tomorrow, life is being in the moment then why does it happen that we keep disturbing ourselves thinking about “what next”

Honestly ...what is next?

Am I gonna be the same person as I was, or someone better or someone worse...I have no idea. As I see around I keep pondering over why we look for some sort of escape upon not to face “what next”. Hands tremble, heart beats faster as you try to avoid facing it…relentlessly. The so called ‘Next’ can be better, best or worst. Whatever it may be, it’s gonna be yours cause it’s you had been shaping it in the past then why resist it now? Resistance will hurt like water gets shattered when it hits the barrier but is always calm when you allow it to flow.

On the contrary, the mystery of something that is already chosen, something that is already meant for will be revealed in ‘what next’. The point is even though it seems like dark cave, even though there is no light, even though nothing is clear, even though you are scared you gotta keep moving.

All that I feel is what we have lived so far is gone and what’s coming is life. I am with you only till tomorrow and I wish to say this every passing day until there is no tomorrow. For me life is living with you until next day. Just one more day.