Whats the confusion?

Today…after a pretty long time I felt proud of myself. Reason was I completed 1st set of Diwali Diyas which will be gifted to one of my good friend. I really gave myself a pat on the back which is giving me a confirmation that I shall have my days back.


I had been trying different things in past two years and I kept on feeling that “Is there something wrong with me?” Actually…today I understand that there was one thing missing which made a difference of life.


Once you have heart and art together in place in whatever role you are playing, you see a clear picture and every work you do goes as an achievement…but actually you are just doing your job.


But if you have the art but not the heart into it, the path seems to be more hazy and impossible. The more you learn and try the goal goes further and further. Its easy to develop the art, we all can do that…remember studying history (the most hated subject for most students). We all could get over it easily cause we knew that it’s not for the entire life.


Unfortunately...life doesn’t give us short term exams with time table. Everything is unsaid, no one has time to prepare for the forth coming circumstances..right?


There are certain things that we can choose … to understand what kind of WORK is suitable for me. Every work requires brains and energy, the only challenge is to understand which one is meant for you.


If your heart is into it, you may create a fortune or may be not but I feel the satisfaction and peace is uncomparable and moreover learning the art is fun. It’s no long a job or work it becomes a part of you. Once you are in sync you start enjoying the rhythm of life


I know it becomes difficult with all the responsibilities around, but this is the ONLY LIFE that you can live as YOU. Helloo!!!! no one else can take that opportunity from you.


If you are confused, go ahead and explore every opportunity that comes your way. ..give an honest shot…give that chance to yourself…if its not meant for you, you shall come to know about it. If possible, try not to make an opinion if you haven’t tried it yet and never consider everyone’s opinion as the final one …Remember…. you are UNIQUE and there is no one in this entire milky way like You!!


Let’s see what there for me in the store…may be slow baby steps will take me to my destination

A Dog who died in PEACE!

Today when I was leaving for office, my friend Nivedita gave me a call “There is a middle aged dog that is on the verge of dying, can we do something about it?” Though I didn’t have any Animal Welfare number, but tried to get as many numbers from just dial and gave her. The moment I reached off I tried to enquire if everything is fine, but unfortunately the animal welfare association would have taken a long time to come to the outskirts of the city. I tried calling couple of them but the moment they heard Hinjewadi they would hang up (wonder how they are in social service).


It was unbearable to see the dog dying on the cemented footpath in the hot sun. We decided to at least try our best to save him. I believe he had feats & was already pretty weak, cause whenever I used to go to the tapirs to have evening tea, he would loiter around quietly. I suppose, he was too lonely and weak right from the beginning. I gave him some water, cleaned his face, covered him with a dupatta and moved him to shade. His heavy breathing had calmed down and I was wondering if this was a positive or negative sign. We enquired about which medicine to give and drove to a nearby medical to get one. By the time we reached he was already resting in peace. My heart started beating much faster and I tried to wake him up but seeing no reaction we just left him there in a shady place.


While I and Nivedita were discussing about the entire experience, we realized that at least he didn’t had a DOG’S DEATH. We really can’t control anyone’s life and death but the only thing that we could do to make them feel blessed while one is his last stage. It’s actually the survival of the fittest, but don’t you think that the most FIT and suited living creatures can be compassionate & offer help to the weak. It’s their fate and will if they can make it.


I feel that I actually helped myself apart from dog, because it was intolerable for me to see him die just like that. Now that he is free from all the pain, hope he will have a much better life next time where he is been well taken care of. I pray that he rests in peace.

A day after:
The pup lying there still…and he was covered with flowers …and more flowers were falling on him…..as if nature was showering its condolence towards it. :)


 

Earnings!!!

So..How much did you earn?



We all are judged upon this factor…how much MONEY do you earn? A father will never give his daughter if the guy is not earning well, a girl will not entertain a guy who can’t take the expenses of a date, a man will not respect a woman if she is not working…everything leading to one …Earnings…and somehow its directly connected to our egos…Right?


To reach here where you are, you must have cried, laughed, been depressed, suppressed, cheated, slogged, abide by your principles…but still we say it’s not enough, there is no limit to it. We lose our earnings in so many ways…like bad investments, serous crisis, someone cheated, some mishap…we lose it all and yet we fight back to grow, excel and survive…that’s the spirit of a human. He knows how to adapt, learn, improve and move on in most drastic situations.


But don’t you think in the business of life, we never lose…


When you did something great…you earned an accomplishment, when you were criticized…you earned a silent suggestion, when you made an effort to look good…you earned a compliment, when you tasted failures...you earned lessons…when you were compassionate towards someone…you earned a friend, when you cheated someone…you earned a foe and their negative vibrations, when you disciplined yourself and made your dream come true…you earned success. Each time you earn you learn and compete with yourself, creating new bench mark and leaving and no one can ever compete this journey that you have chosen.


So let me ask the question again…how much did you earn?


Actually speaking there is no one in this world who is worthless, and no one who is priceless


The difference between a literate and illiterate is not who can read or not…but actually who cannot differentiate the value of what he shall earn in this journey.


If everything has to end, then it even has to start?? I asked this question to myself so many times…am yet to find a correct answer...but surely it feels that I am at the right track.


What about U?

A friend WITHIN!

Friendship day, Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Sister’s day..etc etc. We have all sorts of days to celebrate relationship with others, but there is no day to celebrate the relationship we share with ourselves.


We humans generally seek satisfaction in making others feel special, but we also get thrashed by the way others treat us…Right? We are always seeking a support, a friend in someone with the know fact that there are conflicts waiting to come. All sorts of emotions, actions, reactions, possessions, obsessions goes to that someone so called “Special” who actually can’t even understand you. But we still continue to carry on this way...at least I did…


The more I started thinking about myself; the world around me started teasing me being selfish. If one tries to make a deal with others that I become selfless and you do everything that would make me happy…don’t you think a lot will back out?


There is no intention of promoting rebel attitude, but actually to stand unaltered … just being yourself without expecting others to like you. It’s like offering a hand to self and a word of being there in all thick and thins.


Don’t we all hear voices in our heads? The one who want to do everything at one moment is a confused self who doesn’t know what to prioritize. There would be another voice which will help in condensing the anxiety, analyze and bring out the solution. Then we loiter around discussing with the outer world to be clear but instead create more mystification. The voice again reminds you because it knows what the best is for you at that time. Do you trust those voices?? I never did.


After really a long time…I have started listening to myself, being nice and compassionate to myself, allowing myself to voice my most stupid thoughts. In simple words…I am being a FRIEND to the indecisive, confused, agitated, angry ME.

Emotional Riots!!

Remember 26/11 Mumbai attack, 9/11 world trade center attack, German bakery blast…We are bound to remember these dates as they did kill so many innocent people around and most importantly they were the headlines in every news channel. Every house was discussing upon how bad the world has become. How can they kill innocent people…how can their conscience allow them to do such slaughter…doesn’t their hands tremble while killing the people who are just like them…Damn these terrorists…


I realized that … there is a terrorist in each one of us, not that we go and kill people randomly with the AK47 but it’s through our words and actions. And the best part about it is….the damage happens and no one comes to know about it…there is no headlines…no media publicity..but the mark so deep and painful that it remains beyond life. Has anyone imagined how Ur action and reaction can be stronger than a weapon…Ask a person who is dumped by one whom he loved more than himself…ask a mother when she is rejected by her own child…ask the one who had a blind faith and is stabbed from behind…ask the one whose trust is shattered that it becomes difficult to trust own self…ask the one who was promised to be always there and is left alone with confusion, doubts, discontentment, anger…they are just the ingredients for being an emotional bomb.


The thoughts allowed to linger in this mind, the words spoken by this mouth, deeds done by these hands…are responsible for making an emotional person.
One being emotional or surrounded by emotional people is blessing in disguise …because E-motion is nothing but "Energy in Motion"…but the question to be asked is "Are U emotionally strong or emotionally weak?"


The circumstances changes the person, but watch out are U being a circumstance in anyone else’s life…are U the challenge in anyone’s life…is it U because of which there is anger in some one’s eyes…is it U? How can U kill someone’s dreams, how does your conscience allow to do such disaster…Didn’t your heart tremble while slaughtering others wishes which are just like yours…Damn U terrorists…


Let’s just take a small step towards stopping these emotional riots, cause in the end, what goes around comes back to you. It’s just a small effort to be a little nice and compassionate for the living beings around. Even if one tried to be a true human…it shall help. Let’s not contribute in making an human emotional bomb cause whenever it blasts, it hurts everyone ...including U.

A beautiful DEATH!!

Everyone around me struggling to have a beautiful and content life..not that I am someone different and not planning things to have a better living but an a contrary I can’t stop thinking about having a beautiful DEATH.


It doesn’t mean that I stop myself living, it means that I live as if there is no tomorrow. I am in a hurry to feel and experience what this so called journey called LIFE has to offer me.


When things got screwed up…I often said “I don’t deserve it, this shouldn’t have happen to me. It’s just not worth coming in my life”. It’s now I realize that everything is worth it, it’s worth coming in my time and passing by. Now its just me who can feel ashamed, guilt and regret upon whatever happened or I choose to say “Its an experience, where I came closer to reality to understand that it’s not meant for me, so lemme try something else”


If I let my imagination go bizarre … I see myself smiling when I am taking my last breadth. It shall be the flash of all experiences in a fast forward way and I shall be thankful to myself to giving that chance to myself to go ahead and explore. It doesn’t matter whether others make me feel successful or not…cause when I die I shall be alone and its only me who is the best judge upon the way I lived my life. Others judgement will be negligible.

I am actually living on the edge of LIFE…

because I know whatever I shall receive beyond it will be accepted with a smiling soul

My Recent Realization!!

I often said..why did U do that, if I would be U then I will never do this to any person. Sounds familiar?
I always used to be confused upon what am I doing, is this really meant for me? Is there something else for me? How should I find it? What should I do to find it? Mind clouded with questions and more questions without a single light of answer. ...Sounds familiar?
My recent realization....
Its only when I accept others not behaving like ME...I learn to be detached. When I reject the expectations...I become ME, completely aware and thus no one can make me happy or depress. No one can become so important to take control over my emotions.


I now realize that difference between skill and role. I was too busy developing the skills but forgot what my role is


A combination of complete awareness, acceptance of what I am and detaching myself from expectations..I make myself free from being in arena of right and wrong.


I work what I am supposing to work...with complete devotion and integrity.


There is no other satisfactory feeling other than being devoted...its giving more than what U can. Loosing myself to something...is where I shall find myself.


So..I am devoted to my self..my life... and I say to myself  “I will make U so happy that even if tears come close to U they too start smiling being in your eyes”.

Its something UNPREDICTABLE, but at the end its RIGHT...Hope U had the time of the LIFE:)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDSUl5diOOo

Mail Box or Thought Box

I see my mind like a outlook mailbox. We keep on receiving and sending so much of information that we hardly can keep a track. I wish I would record my thoughts and my experiences, so that I could refer anytime. Next time I happen to meet God..I shall help him prepare a software which could do that, but I would need so many approvals from higher officials here as well :P. If this get approved and implemented, life would have been so much simpler for entire humanity. A quick analysis on excel, playing with some numbers and there U go…U have a solution..U know where the discrepancy lies and now HOW to rectify it is the only challenge.
Most of times I don’t understand WHAT to be done, so understanding HOW to achieve doesn’t come into picture at all.


Let’s just see..what my Thought box says…
My Inbox…it’s the collection of received data which we allow to seep in, but until and unless we make an effort to delete some unwanted data, we cannot receive further. It will say your inbox is full. I should constantly make an effort to remove the unwanted clutter which are hampering my growth..negativity, unwanted people, painful experiences etc. Keep making space and lemme prepare myself to explore more …Empty your inbox :)


My Drafts are the pending duties or dreams which are basically in my wishful periphery. I am just procrastinating and ignoring them giving more reasons and excuses upon how everything is stopping me to go ahead. I need to find more time beyond what nature has given me (24 hrs) to do that, which is not possible :P. I gotta ensure that I complete them before it’s too late. I am stopping or controlling them, because of some fear of failure, rejection, attachment or maybe I don’t know to whom this belongs to. It just needs one click of a thought to send the information to the universe, but it takes some great amount of guts. Just need to let go and be detached :)


My Sent items..Ahh!! they are too many much more than my inbox (mind U..am a girl). That’s just our reactions to what we have received. I tend to react more than what actually exists. I need to Strike a balance between both. That’s where peace lies..I think so :)


My Outbox..are the unanswered prayers, which was meant for someone, but could not get through. Either their Inbox is full or they just don’t exist. They goes in the list of “It’s not meant to be”. It’s the most painful spot as I keep wondering why…but I don’t get any answer. I just don’t have any control over it. So they lie there and I sometimes visit them to say Hello :)

Shades of SILENCE!

Silence is actually lack of sound, but in true means if U seek it within…its speak volumes.

Words have their own limitations, it’s the way of communication but the most profound way of actually heeding others is in silence. A true prayer can be heard in silence, a child speaks in silence, care is felt in silence, love is shared in silence…Absolutely without using the words. Faith, trust, belief gets affirmed when U choose to hear silence.

Acquiring silence when other is angry pacifies but the same silence kills when an answer is to be heard.

Feeling silence within gives you direction in balancing the life, but the same is considered frighten cowardness if one is not able to stand by your convictions and speak his mind when required.

Using this immense powerful tool actually establishes your character. One can use this in a constructive way and bringing every living thing closer and can also be used in a destructive manner by just being a spectator.

As it has an equal power of healing and connecting, it also has an equal power of breaking and leaving permanent scars which may not be healed.

One always has a CHOICE to make..so either U can build a strong rooted relationship or U can destroy the existing ones. Be honest and go ahead and make that one choice, cause whatever U choose will portray your character which will lay the foundation of your destiny.  

The CHOICE is yours!!

I met you before we actually meet

Sometimes I listen to my heart
Sometimes I listen to my brain
Sometimes am so confused that am completely drained…

That’s the point when I need you
To be with me and make me realize
That I can face the hardship and I don’t need to flee…

I crave to be with you to make a better world
The world which is within us, which is our true self 
Am looking for that supporting hand that will encourage me to be bold…

I know I have to learn a lot and improve 
But you can make it easy by being with me, cause 
In front you I have nothing to prove...

We complement each other 
We will learn and make our tough journey feel better 
We are together beyond all times and years 
We are with each other in all smiles and tears…

There is something beyond me…there is something beyond you… 
Let’s come and experience together… 
Explore each other…develop each other… 
Beyond lives…within this life…

Something that belongs to ME

It started with ME…

With a feeling…of being loved

Then it became hope…of being loved forever

And then I expressed it through my words…for being together

There started the story of my tear…

I then realized…it started with ME and not US…

I realized the fine line which made the difference of a life…

I realized there is nothing which would last forever…

The more I realized…the more I was closer to reality…

And it ripped me apart…but I learnt which lead me to indemnity

This made me stand unaccompanied but firm …

The expectation of having the one who can love me forever is ME….

And now… it still starts with ME but it also ends with ME

We keep on wandering around seeking love and attention forgetting ourselves …

Love thy soul…

The loneliest person is the one who leaves oneself alone…