IMPRESSION

Interesting!! I am actually enjoying this phase. A Nobuddy had actually made me ponder over an aspect of human emotion…Impression

In a way we all are trying to impress someone or the other. Lemme put my experience. As a child I tried hard to impress my mother with good grades and in return she would impress her so called social butterflies which she perceived as friends & relatives. When I grew up, I was trying to impress guys to get noticed, now that I am working (Yes!! I do that part time when I wanna take a break from illogical thinking) I want to impress my seniors so that they notice that how hard working I am and how much I have contributed to the organization and blah blah….Why are we doing this? Obviously not just like that. We expect something in return….Appreciation! 

It’s like you always wanna hear an echo, a response, a feedback. You wanna see yourself from others perspective and judge self’s hit ratio. But the question is why do we always look for appreciation, why are we forever in a spree of impressing others? Does that define your success or you being famous? Does that really offers pleasure? Or does that actually makes you feel ACCEPTED?

Today I saw an old couple waiting for their son to pick them up. The old man was in white lungi and shirt. The old woman was in cotton saare with a small pig tail. Her teeth would collapse anytime when she opened her mouth to speak. But the way they were conserving with each other was with so much respect and dignity that I could not resist smiling at them. At this point of time when your one leg is almost cemented in graveyard…there is nothing much you can expect from remaining life and you are desperately waiting to have a new beginning. You are with a person who can actually predict the blinking of your eyes, count your breaths on fingers but has branched you off from the arena of right – wrong. In short you are been accepted just the way you are with no expectations of CHANGE. 

I somehow feel that it is only possible when you start choosing yourself to be accepted without any guilt or obligation, its only then you get the courage to do the same for others. At the end of it, even if you shout at the peak of your voice, the response in the form of Echo is again your voice…your own voice.  

The making of W.I.N.G.S

My morning goes perfect when I sit on my window pane conversing with my flora. I started off with one plant, hoping that it would survive in my company and now I have my entire window pane filled with colors. They not only make me smile but they have invited others to join their family…the pigeons, sparrows, crows, humming bird and the recent one caterpillar..I named her Butterwalk.

Butterwalk is very lazy; she takes an entire day to go from one branch to the other. But she is magnificently beautiful and talented. Today when I noticed she has stitched three leaves around her and has started weaving threads around. In some days she would be resting in cocoon, preparing herself to face the blue sky and big big world. I am wondering what she must be feeling being a cocoon which she is creating for herself to be protected from rest of the world. Is she dreaming or analyzing how to face the world? What is she doing inside?

Honestly speaking…I feel she is just copying me, rather following the nature’s directions. Sometimes when nothing seems to be all right, or we are just not able to understand the logical part of the worldly games, we start making a cocoon around us. It’s warm and it’s our world… rather a fantasized world where everything is just the way we want to see it. But this is time to groom ourselves, prepare ourselves to face the reality with is new vision…with a new perspective…YOUR perspective.

There would be thousands of free suggestions pouring, it feels like you are driving on an empty road of Cerrapungee in its expected weather conditions and there...you can’t see what’s next even with the wipers on. At this point of time, I found a technique of make myself aloof and going within a shell to do two things. First to destroy whatever is created and second to create afresh with new vigor, new strategy and there starts the journey of new ME moving out of the shell to reveal the real virtues. But this is not the one who has changed from what she was, she has just learnt to adapt with a new approach with a willing compromise wherever necessary.

So I hope see my Butterwalk soon becoming a Butterfly…flapping her wings and going far away to feel what it means to be free, to discover, to invent, to experiment and also learn to adapt wherever she goes.

I remember a song from Miley Cyrus, which I have well thought to keep as a lullaby for my children before they enter their dream land. Now a days this is for Butterwalk.. :)

Caterpillar in the tree

How you wonder who you’ll be,

Can’t go far but you can always dream

Wish you may and wish you might

Don’t you worry hold on tight

I promise you there will come a day

Butterfly fly away!!